The post with no title

So

I know that this blog is rarely viewed but that is not important.  It is just a place for my words, whether or not they have any value to anyone but myself and my need to vent.

Anyway, self....

I am as I am....just as I am oh lord.

I can tell from the responses of those I deal with that I am creating tension.  I can see that some, those that respond a lot, think of me as too severe and intolerant.  I can see that.  I know what they see...to a degree...and I am, at once, ok with it and not ok with it.

The people pleasing part of me, the guy that could never hurt others, never wanted to fight, was never big, beautiful, rich or popular...that part cringes every time I post something that I think will offend or scare or disturb etc.

But there is another part.

That part once took part in ideas and activities that almost ruined me, almost killed me and almost cost me my soul.  I have been through some fire...though not as much fire as some I know.  I have suffered, yes.  I have watched people.

I see Christianity.  I feel the lash from the tongue of the Christian.  I watch as they divide and divide.  I see that they have lost the fight, that they have failed.  Christianity is too fragmented to do anything but bicker with itself.  I watch as Baha'i sells out, as Christians sell out.  I watch as Islam becomes something horrific, brutal and serves Abbadon.  I see that Judaism does nothing, nothing but move ever closer to secularism.  I see Samaratinism, Zoroastrianism, Sikh....going nowhere, doing nothing.

I see that there are a few of God's angels still struggling to bring help, compassion, love, to humanity.  I also see that it is a losing fight.

I see this thing called Urianism.

I see it's enormous potential.  I can see that it has the power to truly change the world.  A power that only Islam still has, but only the power to change the world for the worse.  I see, perhaps single mindedly, that Urianism could lift humanity to the angelic.

Because I see this, I am...shall we say....reluctant, to watch it be degraded and sell out.  Because of this, I can be harsh and severe.  I am, in matters of Spirit and Urianism, a black robe.

It is difficult for me to sit back and watch others try to bring the residue of paganism, humanism, angel worship etc., into the beautiful thing called Urianism.

I have read the work many times.  Lately I have really read it.  For by reading it aloud for the videos and eventual audio book, I have had to read every word.  No skimming, no skipping, no phase outs...truly read it.

It is in me now, no matter what happens to it or where it goes, it is in me.  My thoughts are shaped by its words.

However, it has been pointed out to me that we are so very small as a group.  So I tell you now self...that I will only post from the Elyon, not from my own words, from now on.

I will do the three things Spirit wants most right now.  Post community, post book, post video.

God, please be with me and comfort me.